Sharing the journey (37/100)

When is it right to share with others when God is leading you into something like this journey?

At the begining, I knew that I could not do this without prayer support. So, no matter how foolish my plans appeared or self-seeking my request, I shared with a friend. I had intended on telling other key people in my world, but the opportunity never presented itself (or so it seemed). I didn't need nor did I want a cheering team to keep me in this. Either I was going to puruse this journey because I was called into a deeper walk with Jesus along this path or not. And if so, then that was enough.

Later, I found it difficult to know how to share or even attempt to explain what I'm doing, much less why. Conversations with a friend who has her own struggle with asking for support (especially financial support) for the work God has called her to live has prompted me to consider my own silence. Why have I kept quiet?

More than ever, I need prayer to hold me, to keep me attentive to Your voice, to discern the path for our organization, to choose wisely each day. Should I not ask those who know me to pray for me and just trust that explanations if needed will make sense.

Is my silence because I don't want to appear prideful or self-centered? Or is it fear that others will perceive me in this way?

Or do I just not trust You enough?

Over these last 36 days as I have sensed a prompting from you to share about this journey and this blog, the responses remind me of being a spiritual director. In direction at times I am prompted to share something. When I share, and it is truly me responding to Your voice, the words have influence either then or later with the directee. When the words are not of You but of me, they roll off the directee as if I never spoke them. Similarly, when I have shared about this journey and blog, some have connected with my heart in this and are continuing to engage along the way. For others, it is as if I never mentioned it. I find rest in the direction setting with the way this goes, can I not here also and therefore speak?

I think this issue has deeper implications, for in the equivalent setting of asking others to join with us in living out this vision for Resilience, can I do the same? Can I offer them the opportunity to join us in financial ways, in prayer, or in volunteering and trust You to guide them to engage with us as You lead? Will I trust them to hear Your voice and respond, or will I cheat them of the opportunity to join You in Your work by keeping silent?

You reminded me today through Pastor Brian's message that this is a journey of intention unto my chief end -- knowing You and living out the expression of You in my life in service to others. This was never meant to be a journey in isolation but in community congruent with my/our roles as image bearers in this world.

By Your grace, growing in trust, I will speak.