A breakthrough today in organizational and ministry development for Resilience:
Out of my desire to focus on being rather than doing and to maintain an integral approach while staying aware of the sub-themes of wholeness, the programming for the care of short-term cross-cultural workers came together. But in this, knowing that I cannot give myself fully to this work, I found frustration and impatience. Thus, progress from an idea to reality is contrasted with my continuing need to grow in trust, to wait with patience, to hold the timing of this in an open hand without grasping onto my own expectations.
Difficulty in preparation for my next class as the deadlines for the papers and presentation are now within two days:
Fatigue, dullness of mind, and lack of understanding the assignments have combined today to create anxiety and apathy. A paralyzing combination that brought to mind the lesson from two days ago of pausing to pray. As I did so, I sensed God saying to me:
I want you to hold this, too, in an open hand. In the same way you cannot grasp the ministry I have given you and force it to come sooner; you cannot release this program, class, or assignments, and make them go away sooner. I have placed this in your hand to hold in this time for reasons that are good. I am present with you in this, trust me here, too. Know that I am actively working; though you don't see the connections, the reasons, or the purposes I have in mind.
In both circumstances, know that my ways are not your ways, but still in both of these, I am present, active, and good.
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