What if (61/100)

Feeling a bit overwhelmed this evening. It seems like with every layer of development written I find multiple other ones surfacing that need more detail. It feels like peeling away the layers of an onion but from the inside rather than the outside. (Hard to imagine, I know, but hang with me in this.) Its like taking out the core and then trying to remove each successive layer toward the outside. Each layer is bigger and denser and more likely to spray that tear-inducing fluid into the air and my eyes. More and more to be developed, considered, and lived into.

With each line of increasing detail of this plan that I am writing, the magnitude of this vision seems to grow. The potential comments of others reading this can't help but be to say that this is impossible. Deb, no one can do all of this.

Maybe the voice of discouragement in my head is right? This is too big, too much for us, to much for me.

The vision is for individualized care. Maybe we can't do this for a business or agency, maybe not even for a church. Maybe all that we can do is provide this for one single cross-cultural worker. And if that is the case, is that enough? Will I, will we, have invested our time and talents well if only one worker is influenced to live and minister with resilience?

Would all this work be worth it?

Would God be pleased?

I am compelled to say, "Yes!"

I cannot know the end from the beginning of this thing. Perhaps God will grant us influence with many, fulfilling the breadth of my vision, but perhaps there will only be one. But if there is only one, then in this too God knows His purposes beyond what I understand.

What if no one is influenced, no one is helped, none of this materializes?
I will need more time to pray and consider this, but I feel that even in this I can hold onto God's character that is present, active and still good. I will know that He is still intimately involved in my life, in our lives, and in the lives of all of those serving across this world. Even in this case, we are not abandoned, we are not forsaken.

And so, although overwhelmed with all that I have vision for and all of the details still to be expressed, I can rest. Although living into all of this may appear to be far beyond mine and our abilities, none of this is beyond You. All I am to do is lean and rest into You allowing You to guide and direct, love and nurture each of us in our journeys.