Just never satisfied, I guess.
Waiting and watching and allowing God's timing to guide in this process has at times prompted the root of impatience and lack of trust to reveal itself.
Today after hearing that opportunities for sharing about this ministry and my heart for serving those going cross-culturally are not just possible but actually scheduled, I'm panicking that things are going too fast.
Though I don't see how the ministry will be ready to present or I will be ready to effectively share, it is the same words as before that I keep hearing whispered in my ear, "Trust Me. Rest into Me, and just trust Me."
My below-the-waterline issue is control. It reveals itself in impatience, fear, and anxiety, but the root is the same. Will I release control to You? Will I hold to the fact that You are present, active, and good, and therefore can be trusted no matter the situation or circumstance.
Holding this ministry in my hand, an open hand, in a place of peace, allowing You full access to shape it and its expression in Your timing. O, Jesus, give me Your abiding grace sufficient to live this.
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