"No, I can't read that now because it won't count."
Arriving home later than expected (therefore behind schedule), I prepared something for lunch and was sitting down to eat when I thought I could go ahead and get started with the reading selection I had planned for today's time. The above thought entered my mind and before I knew it I was headed to get my computer to watch Hulu clip while I ate. Then it hit me stopping me dead in my tracks.
"What are you doing? What do you mean it won't count? Because it's not 'focused' time it breaks the 'rules' and therefore doesn't count?!! Am I only engaging the process of living into my calling and following God for those two hours of focused time? This wreaks of legalism! I know the stench of it all too well."
It is amazing how quickly the old habit has crept into this journey.The point of this exercise is to build intentionality into my life of calling not return to a life of drivennes or legalism. This journey is a life journey not to be restricted to two hours a day. Likewise, eating while I am reading or taking a break in the middle of the designated time to improve my ability to focus doesn't discount that investment.
This is a journey of grace not law. It is about being open and aware of God's voice in the context of calling. Living out the longing expressed in the song in church today -- "I'm capture by your holy calling. Set me apart, I know you're drawing me to yourself. Lead me, Lord, I pray. Call me, guide me, lead me, walk beside me. I give my life to the Potter's hand." (Darlene Zsechech)
Thank you Jesus for the freedom to relax into this life and journey.
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