Rest, recover, and enjoy

During the last days of my 100-day journey, two things of significance occurred. First, on the 1st of October, our nonprofit, Partners in Resilience, was incorporated. This idea of enhancing the care provided to cross-cultural workers was born. Although hidden, taking shape in many tangible ways, much in the same way that a baby is formed hidden in the womb, this organization is now visible to everyone. There will be many areas of continuing growth, development, missteps, and falls until it reaches maturity, but it is (we are) officially on our way.

The second thing that occurred was a shift in me. The structure of these days was coming to an end, and yet, I did not see where God was leading me next, and this led to uncertainty and an unexpected feeling of being  distant from God. There was also a fear that the significance of these days would be forgotten. However, strangely, both issues were overshadowed with an unexplained Presence of love.

In this, the lessons of these days came back, namely, that of asking with expectancy God for my most basic needs and asking others for their involvement. In these askings, I heard God's voice whisper, "I'm still here."

With the help of a friend, I have come to see God's new invitation to rest, recover, and enjoy the gifts He has given me through this journey. To rest means this organization that has just been "birthed" needs to be placed into Your hands, Lord, to hold and to care for. To rest is not a laying down and walking away, but a trusting You to continue the work without my own effort for now.

To enjoy the gifts given takes two forms. First, this is taking the time to look at the organization noticing all that there was vision for, all that now exists, all of the nuances and characteristics that are present, and celebrate them. Secondly, this is to look at me and Our relationship noticing how these will never be the same again as a result of the journey of these days. With gratitude and awe, I now see that what these were before doesn't even compare to what they are now -- the depth of intimacy, trust, and love -- the reality of Your voice, touch, and presence.

To recover is to acknowledge the price (physical, emotional, and relational) that has been paid during this time of intensity. Previously, I had a tendency toward drivenness which sprung from many sources. Other than at the beginning, this journey has not functioned out of that but rather out of a resting dependency on Jesus. This was a journey that I could not engage on my own but could only be completed as He did the work through me. The experience was not easy, for at times it meant at the end of a long day my day was not over, but during these times to not continue became unthinkable because I didn't want to miss out on what Jesus was doing in and through me. Committing the time to Him and engaging in the process in whatever form it took for that day was lived, not out of my own strength, but in His Spirit empowering me.

To heed Your call to spend time with You apart from the work of the organization is to find rest, recovery and celebration. The ending of this journey has only intensified my longing for You, and therefore, the previous fear has dissipated as promised (1 John 4:18).