Return to the place you know

Although I have written quite allot since I left for my trip back in August, I haven't posted anything. I've kept meaning to go back to what I had written and clean it up before posting it, but after reading deAnn's post today, I've been challenged to write from where I am today, because I am writing and God is moving.

The activity of these months has left me in a state of burnout feeling trapped by my circumstances and wondering when things might change. Thankfully a friend challenged me to return to the place of quiet, being fully present with my Lover-God, hearing His voice and feeling His touch.

I was reminded how much I value time with Him -- not just time for processing or writing or reading, but time to just sit with Him -- to enjoy His presence. No agenda -- freedom to speak or not -- a chance to just be -- to exist -- to abide with Him.

The clarity that comes in purpose and being out of these times is amazing. The focused sense of who and whose I am is more impacting and of greater worth than anything else in my life.

The activities of any given day pull me forward into them and away from this time with Him. But this time is like breathing, like coming up for air, without which I risk drowning, losing all perspective and meaning, and having nothing to give.

And so this day, I return to my preparatory prayer, a quote by Ted Loder, and I sit in quietness in the arms of Jesus.

Now, Oh Lord,

Calm me into a quietness

That heals and listens,

And moulds my longs and passions

My wounds and wonderings

Into a more holy and human shape.