One step beyond the threshold (June30)

I now stand one step past the threshold – the door has slammed shut behind me, even startling me the way it closed so fast and so firmly. With this closing, I spin about to face the door again realizing that the way is closed and closed for good. There is no need to even try opening it again. I’m thankful that the door is made of glass so I can see through to where I’ve been. And so as I look – what do I see? What do I feel? So many scenes, and people, and experiences. So impacting – I am changed because of all of these. – but I know that standing gazing too long backwards serves no purpose. The door is here, it is closed, and I am on the other side.

As I slowly turn, there is a touch of fear, of caution, of anxiety. What do I expect to see? Will it be bright or dark? expansive or small? warm or cold?

As I consider my new world, this unknown place, I find it somehow familiar.
A clearing of grass, nicely trimmed, soft, inviting.
A gravel path leading off to the left winding into the surrounding trees and undergrowth and disappearing beyond my sight.
The sun’s brightness beginning to fill this space almost as if rising to meet me from above the trees, burning away the clouds of morning, now illuminating this place.
Gazing through the surrounding “wall” of trees, rays of sunlight can be seen passing through the canopy above bringing out the various shades of green from the leaves of the trees and shrubs.
A soft, cool breeze brushes my face as I turn toward it closing my eyes and listening to its affects on the leaves around me. I hear the call of birds and their flitting about along with the movement of squirrels and other life in the undergrowth – yet, their movements are distant and are unseen from where I stand.
The fear fades, my heart settles.
Your presence surrounds me.
I sense Your love.
I am a peace.

No call to press on, no pressure, only rest. I move away from the door with a backward glance and then a leaving behind, walking into the soft grass. Slipping off my shoes to see if it feels as good as it looks. It does. The feel of St. Augustine beneath my feet and between my toes, there’s nothing like it to this Texas girl! The grass is cool, but the air is warm and comfortable.

I notice a rolled blanket against the wall near the door – it spreads easily and softly out onto a section of open grass – lying down and looking up, I see the clear, brilliant blue of the sky – the previous misty clouds are gone – I settle – I rest – and soon I sleep.

And so I do.

(I could add explanations for what I’ve written, but nothing seems as well to convey my feelings on that day. Be in this place with me, adding your experience to mine, and I think you will understand what a gift from God this was to my heart after so long a journey and on the verge of such an amazing future.)